I must have had a dysfunctional childhood, because I've listened to KISS as long as I can remember, and I never had a clue of their age inappropriate lyrics. I bought the Greatest Hits in my early teens and listened to it constantly throughout school, regardless of all the strange looks from fellow pupils who were too busy listening to 'real music' like Cascada.
Like most fans of KISS, their theatrical makeup and stage presence attracted them to me first, much the same as Alice Cooper, and for a while I couldn't see past Gene Simmons. We all go through the stage where we assume Gene is the lead singer, and it's a shame that you first disregard the other members.
Beth appealed to me most as a young girl who preferred slower, more emotion-driven music, and despite the song's message, I still yearned to be Beth - the girl waiting at home alone for her man to come home from touring.
God Gave Rock And Roll To You, coming from a Jewish band, was to be expected. I never saw the religious side, I simply took its meaning that we were born into rock and roll, it's in our blood, we just choose whether to let it out or not.
I was often found quoting Plaster Caster for absolutely no reason, I had no idea what the lyrics meant, but it was catchy and that's all that mattered to this young zombie.
Beth appealed to me most as a young girl who preferred slower, more emotion-driven music, and despite the song's message, I still yearned to be Beth - the girl waiting at home alone for her man to come home from touring.
God Gave Rock And Roll To You, coming from a Jewish band, was to be expected. I never saw the religious side, I simply took its meaning that we were born into rock and roll, it's in our blood, we just choose whether to let it out or not.
I was often found quoting Plaster Caster for absolutely no reason, I had no idea what the lyrics meant, but it was catchy and that's all that mattered to this young zombie.
My greatest memory of KISS is when I finished Tony Hawk's Underground on PS2 as a kid and the bonus level was a concert stage. With added KISS. Being able to skate around a KISS performance was the closest I'll probably ever get to these guys. I used to spend hours on end walking up to the Gene character and being effortlessly knocked to the ground by him, then idly standing on the drum platform as it shot up. Yeah, I found that amusing for some reason.
The next fangirl moment came in the form of Rock School, a reality TV series in which Gene Simmons takes on the challenge of educating a class of schoolkids to becoming a rock band worthy of opening for bands such as Anthrax and Rob Zombie. Not to be confused with Jack Black's movie School Of Rock, although almost identical, School Of Rock is missing a vital component, and that's Gene. I remember being glued to the screen for every episode, I was in awe of Gene Simmons actually being in a school in my country, and I kept my fingers firmly crossed that he'd come to my school, but the show only lasted two series. The first was shot in a boarding school with classically trained pupils learning the ways of rock, but the second series is the most memorable. Filmed in a school in Lowestoft, home to the greatest British band The Darkness, the second series brought to light a talent akin to Justin Bieber but cooler. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you - Lil' Chris.
If you don't want to watch Lil' Chris, then I think the thumbnail shows you all you need to know. Bieber before Bieber was Bieber but not Bieber because he doesn't Bieber.
And finally, Role Models. The entire movie feeds off the KISS culture and it's BRILLIANT. Paul Rudd singing his own unique version of Beth is enough to make any KISS fangirl weak. But the highlight is the final battle scene, which is quite possibly the best movie fight scene. Ever. Forget Lord Of The Rings, you ain't seen nothing yet.
I was even to be found wandering around Download festival last year with the Starchild and Demon face paint. A few Spanish girls even asked to take their photo with me. I'd love to find those photos one day. It certainly helped my friends find me in the crowd, but wiping it off that night proved quite problematic in a dark tent, and I only discovered the ominous black remnants smudged across my face on the drive home afterwards.
Are you a KISS fan?
